Hello Everyone,
Sorry it’s been a few days since an update. Our week has been pretty frantic but for the mot part it was all in a good way. Tom had the middle school concert on Tuesday which was a huge success. The students really came through - working hard the entire time he was out and pulled off one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud sitting in that audience watching all their effort and time come to full fruition. Tom got so chocked up thanking everyone on stage he began to cry, something I’ve never seen him do. Tom is a pretty self contained body, few emotions slip past his barriers, but since his seizures he’s become a much more emotional person. And while for the most part I think this is a good thing, I do see signs of stress where his emotions have at moments become too strong. It’s as though the full impact of what happened is finally starting to sink in which while I understand is part of the healing process, it does worry me. But, by the same token I find myself experiencing the same thing. I cry at unexpected moments and worry constantly.
Today was Tom’s first day by himself. Although I was against the idea, I realized that it would need to happen eventually. Although I knew he had the Life-Alert System I couldn’t help but be afraid as I was driving to Bellevue for class that something would happen, something terrible and I would be too far away to save him from. It’s silly of course, you don’t save someone from seizures. And the seizures themselves are harmless for the most part, but I guess I still haven’t gotten over the feeling of fear that he wouldn’t come back to me. That feeling of being utterly alone with an empty body convulsing on a bed that had once housed my husband. It will be a while before we can both truly come to terms with what happened and how it will continue to affect our lives.
On the bright side, we have our neurologist appointment tomorrow at 10:00. I’m holding out that we’ll get some answers although I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high. There are many tests yet to run and a myriad of questions to be asked before we’ll truly know what happened and why. But still, I hope. I will send out an update when we get home letting all of you know what we’ve learned. Please wish us luck.
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