Doctor Update and Snow

Let it Snow!

7:00

Today we got the results from Tom’s EEG and they came through just fine. No sign of seizure activity whatsoever! Hooray! So we now have permission to wean him off the seizure meds and in a month he has a second EEG. If they still don’t see any activity the doctor said that while she can’t guarantee that he doesn’t have epilepsy, a clean scan certainly lowers the risk factor for future seizures. YAY!!!!

On an even brighter side, it snowed today. Not enough for a snowman but plenty enough to have the loudest, most exuberant snowball fight on the block. The snow made driving was a real adventure tonight as well. We left the house to make photocopies with clear skies and came out an hour later to snow and hail falling heavily. Thank heavens we have a jeep! We had no problems getting home but the same couldn’t be said for most of the drivers. We passed three cars that had spun out at Fred Meyer and the turn just before home was filled with cars and a jackknifed bus with full accordion set-up. It looked like the back of the bus was kissing the front which I imagine resulted in something akin to a religious experience for anyone sitting in the accordion section at the time. Needless to say, traffic was absolutely stopped both directions so we took a few more back-roads and although the route was slower, it was certainly safer!

As much as I love school, I’m really hoping for a snow day tomorrow. Our road is a rutted sheet of ice and I don’t relish trying to navigate the two hills between us and Dimmitt. That and a snow day means hell or high water I’m making a snowman, even if I have to borrow snow from the neighbors. It is a moral imperative! J

10:00

Update:

It’s snowing again but the wind is picking up so I’m not sure how much will actually stick. There’s something bizarre about looking out my office window to see the two palm trees loaded down with snow. I feel like all we’re missing are some strands of Christmas lights and we’d have an instant Corona commercial.

We just had to move my car indoors for safety. We’ve been watching cars trying to make it up our hill and end up sliding down to end up in our yard or the neighbors. This was all entertaining until one nearly hit my poor car moored in the driveway. So, we quickly dashed downstairs, cleaned out the garage, brushed the mounds of snow off the car and after three tries finally made it into the garage. Then we stood outside with some of our neighbors to watch more cars make a go at the hill. So far its cars 3, hill 14 but the night is young yet and I expect the hill will gain more casualties. What gets me are the people who rev their cars at the base and go shooting past the house at about 40 miles per hour only to slide back down (sideways no less) just as fast. I feel bad finding entertainment in this, but at least I’m not quite as bad as my across the street neighbors. Earlier this evening they put out a couple folding chairs on their front lawn and were taking bets on which cars would make it.

Great news!

Hello everyone!

I have such wonderful news! Tom saw the doctor today and she’s absolutely marvelous! Not only did she actually listen to our worries but she validated them! Wow! She honestly feels that Tom’s seizures were probably the result of a bad reaction to a medication but she’s being cautious and has ordered an EEG scan for tomorrow. And I couldn’t believe how soon she was able to arrange for the scan. On top of that we have a follow up appointment with her the Monday after Thanksgiving. It’s so much more than we dared hope for! If the scan comes back clear she’ll wean him off the Keppra and two weeks after will test him again. If she still sees nothing we can conclude that he’ll most likely never have another! YAY!!!!!!!! The drawback is that Tom is not allowed to sleep tonight and will miss another day of class tomorrow. I know it worries him, he hates missing class and feels like he’s failing his students and I don’t know how to convince him otherwise because I know were I in his shoes I would feel the same. Still, I keep trying to remind him that he’s out for legitimate reasons and we’ll have two more quarters to make up for the absences to the students.

In other news, I taught my first lesson today to seventh graders and it was so exciting! I made some mistakes but overall was completely overjoyed by the experience! This age is so exciting and fun and I’m really happy at Dimmitt! Everyone has been so warm and kind and the students are an absolute kick! I can’t wait to have another go at it (hopefully minus the mistakes, or at least make some new ones for variety’s sake :-) ).

Alex is of course taking all this in stride. He’s currently snoring away on his favorite cushion. Although he woke up for a few minutes an hour ago to complain that his extra water bowl was out of bottled water. And I, being very conscious of my obviously subservient position in our household immediately filled the water bottled and tweaked his tail which resulted in him spending the next twenty minutes washing his unmentionables in my general direction. I love cats! :-)

Change is good...

I am disgusted to tell you that we’ve been informed by Dr. Heide’s office that we just have to take our chances once Tom runs out of the anti-seizure pills (which is today). They cannot get us in to see another doctor until Wednesday (and doctor Heide is not responding to any pages) and suggested that instead of waiting for them to call us back we should have tried to call another neurologist. Yes, they had the nerve to suggest that all of this was my fault because I hadn’t taken the time to contact another neurologist because somehow I would psychically know that Dr. Heidi would not be available today. Regardless that I have talked to three hospitals today who have all said they cannot see Tom until Dr. Heide’s office releases his records which they don’t appear inclined to do. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so absolutely dumbfounded and furious right now there aren’t words. Dr. Heide’s office refuses to take responsibility because it’s not their job to find another doctor for him to see when their doctor cancels and we just need to take our chances (yes, those too were their words).

Happily, I just got a call from Dr. Vassler’s office (the head neurologist at Valley) prior to hitting the send buton for this entry that they have not only agreed to extend the prescription but will see Tom this Thursday. As an interesting side-note, the reason it took Dr. Vassler so long to get back to me was because (this was inferred by his office manager) we were not the only patients of Dr. Heide who were stuck and panicking today. And while I would like to say that I am a forgiving person above petty vindictiveness, I hope Dr. Heide’s illness is cutely annoying, nothing life-threatening of course but a nice case of boils under his big toe nails I think would be a appropriate form of Karmic payback.

So, that said we’ll be leaving shortly to pick up the prescription and to buy something chocolaty to celebrate.

Feeling Lost...

I am absolutely livid! I am so incensed I could spit kittens! This is problematic first as Alex would never forgive me and second, I have the distinct impression that heaving kittens up one’s esophagus would be a fairly painful procedure. That aside, at 7:30 this morning we got a call from the doctor’s office stating that Dr. He-We-Do-Not-Speak-Of is out sick and could we possibly reschedule? Out sick!? I have the sneaking suspicion were his illness to be scrutinized he’d be diagnosed with acute Oh-My-God-I-Have-To-Work-On-A-Holiday Syndrome which considering his past behavior would not in any way surprise me. This is I admit flagrantly unfair of me to assume. I don’t actually know the man and have only talked with him a couple times but the egocentric turn of my thoughts refuses to allow for the notion that he probably hasn’t done this simply to hurt or distress both me and my family.

Two bloody weeks we’ve been waiting! Two, that’s two hands and four fingers as my kindergartners would have said – and those who know me understand that if I’m quoting my kindergartners, I’m ready to dismember something or someone molecule by molecule! Two weeks of wondering if we’ll finally have answers. Two weeks of emotional agony! Two weeks of hoping that this whole fracas will finally end! How can he do this?

All I want is answers - what an outrageously sweeping turn of phrase and utterly inaccurate. I don’t just want any answers, I want the answer. The one that starts with Tom is fine and ends with our lives returning to normal but deep in my heart I know that life is not always so kind nor features such Disney-esque endings. The world doesn’t stop turning because I dig in my heels and scream to the cosmos “Stop! – You can’t keep turning until everything is perfect!” Not that I am even remotely qualified to adjudicate any world for perfection being so far removed from perfection myself that the very concept is laughable at best.

So we wait. Something we’ve become good at, if accepting about. We wait to hear if another appointment can be scheduled. We wait wondering if this man has even considered what his cancellation has done to us – and I hope he has – I cannot conceive of anyone being absolutely cruel. We wait until we can find something better, something more hopeful and something that preferably (at least at the moment) involves obscene amounts of chocolate on a brownie-like base.

Update: It’s been a couple hours and all we’re learned is that Tom is being medicated without any medical tests to back up the diagnosis; we only have enough pills to last another 24 hours and if he stops taking them he might have another seizure because his body depends on them now; we’ve been promised to see another doctor but we’re getting the run around about who and when; and no one seems to want to take the blame for the situation. I don’t even have words for what I’m feeling right now. I want to explode, I want to cry, I want to scream but nothing I can do will make the situation better. It’s a horrible feeling depending on a doctor’s office that you know could care less about you. We tried to call for another doctor but every other doctor requires a referral which no one will give us. So, we’re waiting. This time they told us it would be an hour and someone will call back. I have no idea if this is a truth or another attempt at hoping we’ll get so frustrated we won’t bother calling them back to complain. I just don’t know…

Concert and doctor appointment...

Hello Everyone,

Sorry it’s been a few days since an update. Our week has been pretty frantic but for the mot part it was all in a good way. Tom had the middle school concert on Tuesday which was a huge success. The students really came through - working hard the entire time he was out and pulled off one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud sitting in that audience watching all their effort and time come to full fruition. Tom got so chocked up thanking everyone on stage he began to cry, something I’ve never seen him do. Tom is a pretty self contained body, few emotions slip past his barriers, but since his seizures he’s become a much more emotional person. And while for the most part I think this is a good thing, I do see signs of stress where his emotions have at moments become too strong. It’s as though the full impact of what happened is finally starting to sink in which while I understand is part of the healing process, it does worry me. But, by the same token I find myself experiencing the same thing. I cry at unexpected moments and worry constantly.

Today was Tom’s first day by himself. Although I was against the idea, I realized that it would need to happen eventually. Although I knew he had the Life-Alert System I couldn’t help but be afraid as I was driving to Bellevue for class that something would happen, something terrible and I would be too far away to save him from. It’s silly of course, you don’t save someone from seizures. And the seizures themselves are harmless for the most part, but I guess I still haven’t gotten over the feeling of fear that he wouldn’t come back to me. That feeling of being utterly alone with an empty body convulsing on a bed that had once housed my husband. It will be a while before we can both truly come to terms with what happened and how it will continue to affect our lives.

On the bright side, we have our neurologist appointment tomorrow at 10:00. I’m holding out that we’ll get some answers although I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high. There are many tests yet to run and a myriad of questions to be asked before we’ll truly know what happened and why. But still, I hope. I will send out an update when we get home letting all of you know what we’ve learned. Please wish us luck.

Back in the saddle again…

Today was Tom’s first day back at school and everything went very well. His students couldn’t have been more wonderful and it was a joy to watch him interact with them. He’s very tired right now, but it’s the good kind of tired. We have the middle school concert tomorrow night and I expect it will be a lovely performance. The students have worked so hard and Tom and I couldn’t be more pleased with their dedication and heart. What I loved best was to see all the kids running up to me in the hallways or during first period yelling “Mr. Baugh is back!!!” I laughed every time because they all seemed so amazed. I have no idea how to express to them that this is what he lives for, what both of us live for. They would probably thing we’re strange, and that’s okay. I’ve never met a “normal” teacher so I think we’ll fit in just fine.

Today was my second day in middle school and I’m still having a blast. I’m sad that I’m only doing half-days now. It means I really only get to know the students in first period and only a half hour of second. Still, I have an extra full week in December to make up so I’ll get to spend time with all of the classes then which is definitely something to look forward to. Stephanie, my cooperating teacher is wonderful. I love her energy! She had the kids singing a song about the writing process today. I could really get into this sort of thing. :-)

Waiting for tomorrow...

Hello everyone,

Well, I’m happy to say things are getting better. Tom is having fewer blank moments and is less shaky although he still tires easily. We’re still both feeling like deer in headlights about the whole thing but I’m hoping that too will ease. We still have a lot of questions. Like why do the dizzy spells always begin with an odd round of body odor? Why does he blank out and why is his sense of smell so suddenly keen? Is any of this normal? If it isn’t, what does it mean?

I do have some good news. I’ve been asked to return to my old job a couple hours a week. It will be a relief to have some money coming in so that we can build our savings account back up. I’ll be creating PowerPoint presentations and excel spreadsheets. I will hopefully find out more tomorrow but it will be wonderful to have that small margin of security again.

Also, tomorrow is my first day away from Tom as I’m finally starting my internship at Dimmitt. YAY and EEEK! Don will be staying with Tom and helping him set up and install the Life Alert systems which should hopefully arrive in the afternoon. It should be a good, if stressful day. I’ve gotten so used to being with him it’s hard to imagine not being at his side. I know he’ll be okay, I know that, but it’s still hard to let go. I can’t even imagine what things will be like when we have kids! If I worry about leaving my husband alone I’m going to be a nervous wreck as a mother! EEEKK!!!

I asked Tom what he wanted to say and he says he hopes that everyone is still working hard in the band and will be ready to pick up things Monday. He says he misses working with the students the most and I can vouch for that. He’s talked about nothing but coming back to school since this happened. He also wants to thank everyone again for all the words of support and the wealth of information about seizures we’ve received.

Still trying to stay strong...

Greetings all,

This is the first time that I have been able to get any message out and I just want to say that everything seems to still be going well. I am trying to keep a positive outlook and appreciate all of the notes and e-mails that have been coming in. Currently, I think I am more worried about Jordin as she is trying to take on more than she needs. Please make sure that you keep her in your thoughts also as she is very deserving of it.

I will not be able to get back into school until next week and that is very tough for me. I just want to encourage everyone that they continue to do their best and grow. I hate losing ground like this. Anyway, I will send out updates later this week and this weekend. Have a good week everyone.

Mr. Thomas Baugh